A moment with Talia changed me
Hello Wonder Seekers…
I’d first like to thank you for opening these little letters I take the time to write from my own personal adventures! Your responses are so fun for me to read and I’m grateful to get to share them with you!
You know, there’s been this conversation circling in Access Consciousness lately about something called MEST reality: matter, energy, space, time. And it’s fascinating, because we as beings are naturally energy and space, but we tend to hem ourselves in with matter and time.
Now, that might sound abstract until you catch yourself doing it. Recently, I realized something in me that gave me pause. When I truly care about something, I almost reflexively make it matter. And when something matters, well, it gets heavy. It becomes significant. It solidifies. Suddenly, all that magic and possibility slows down and hardens into something that must go a particular way.
I caught myself in this loop where caring and matter were tangled up. If I cared, then it had to matter. And if it mattered, I felt this almost automatic need to push, to prove, to direct things toward the “right” outcome.
This became crystal clear when my 18-year-old daughter was about to buy her first car. My husband found this great deal. Objectively, it was a gem: $8000 markdown on a nice reliable car. Truly a miracle...But it wasn’t the car she wanted. And I could feel myself slipping into making it matter.
I started trying to show her what we saw. I wanted her to see the logic, the smartness of the deal. And if I’m being honest, I was adding a bit of pressure, maybe even a little manipulation, because when something matters, we think we have to push.
But then I took a breath. I asked myself: what if my caring doesn’t need to solidify into control? What if caring could stay open and spacious?
When I zoomed out, I saw her future, the big picture she’s creating. She’s going to be a Doctor of Physical Therapy, running a clinic with her brother. And when I looked at $8,000 from that vantage point, I realized that wasn’t the point. What mattered, oh, there I go, what was truly important was her awareness. Her confidence. Her knowing that this was her choice, fully owned.
So I let go of the matter. And the moment I did, my caring expanded. Suddenly, it wasn’t about getting her to pick the car we thought was right. It was about giving her all the information, all the awareness, so she could choose for herself. No pushing. No impelling. Just caring.
And she chose the car she wanted, not the one we did, and there was such lightness in that. There’s no regret in my world, no disappointment. There’s still all my caring, all my excitement, because it’s her choice. And I know that when she creates the abundant life she’s heading toward, that $8,000 will just be a footnote in a much bigger story. What stayed wasn’t matter, it was the magic of caring.
You know, this realization meant so much to me that I shared it with my monthly Include You Project group. As a little gift, I’d love to share a 14-minute clip from that conversation with you. I think it might open some space for you, too. (You can watch it here)
🌟 Your Add Wonder Tools
As you move through this week, here are a few questions you might gently sit with:
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Is this something I’m making matter, or can I simply care without proving anything?
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Where in your life are you trying to “solidify” a decision to be right, instead of allowing more space?
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What shifts if you ask: What if I didn’t have to prove I care?
And just for fun, I’ve included a few pictures at the end: Talia and her sister walking the lot and, of course, the car she chose. Because in the end, it’s all about the energy of the choice.
Until next time, may your caring be as easy as a Sunday morning: no rush, no pressure, just space to choose.
With wonder,
Responses