I was looking for my phone…

while talking on it

Hey love,

I want to tell you a true story that is embarrassingly perfect for the point I’m about to make.

A while back, I was at the mall shopping. I was walking out of one of the stores, arms full of bags, talking to my mom on the phone. She was telling me some long story about my aunt and her sister and all the things moms tell you when they catch you at just the right moment, and somewhere in the middle of it she asked me how my shopping trip was and what I bought.

So I start giving her the full rundown.

I’m loading bags into the car, telling her every unnecessary detail about what I found, half listening to her, half mentally inventorying my purchases, and then all of a sudden… I panic.

Like full panic.

I cannot find my phone.

I start digging through the bags. I check my purse. I look in the passenger seat. I retrace my steps in my mind. And I say to my mom, “Oh my God, I think I left my phone at the register. Let me run back inside and see if I can find it.”

And she says, “Okay, hurry, call me back and let me know.”

So I literally start running back toward the mall.

And it was not until I was already inside, flustered and freaked out, that I realized…

I was talking to her on my phone the entire time.

I know.

You may laugh.

You should laugh.

It’s one of the dumbest and most useful stories I have.

Because the second I realized it, I also realized how often we do this with ourselves.

How many of us walk around saying we need to “find ourselves”?

I know it’s a phrase. I know people say it casually. I know it’s become one of those things we toss around like it means something profound.

But I think language matters more than we realize, because if you say something enough times, it starts to build a world.

And if the point of view is that you need to find yourself, then hidden inside that is another point of view:

That you are somehow lost.

And if you’re functioning from the idea that you’re lost, then of course life starts to feel like one long scavenger hunt. You’re out there somewhere, and your job is to seek and search and strive and maybe, if you do everything right, one day finally discover the magical missing you.

But what if that whole thing is a lie?

What if you were never lost?

What if you don’t need to be found at all?

That’s the shift that’s been sitting with me.

Maybe the reason so many people feel disconnected from themselves isn’t because they’re gone. Maybe it’s because they haven’t been acknowledging themselves. They haven’t been receiving themselves. They haven’t been choosing themselves. They haven’t been creating for themselves.

So it feels like something is missing.

And in a way, something is.

But that doesn’t mean you’re not here.

It might just mean you’ve been overlooking yourself in the same way people search for the sunglasses that are sitting on top of their heads. Or the phone that’s already in their hand.

You’re here. Not someday. Not when you heal enough.

Not when you figure your life out. Not when you become some shinier, less complicated, more evolved version of yourself.

Now.

And that changes the whole thing.

Because then the question isn’t, “Where am I?” or “How do I find myself?”

The question becomes, “Will I choose me?”

That’s why I love the question, Who am I today, and what grand and glorious adventures will I have? Not because it means you’re supposed to go hunting for your identity like it wandered off and forgot to leave a forwarding address. It’s meant to loosen your grip on yesterday.

Because yesterday, maybe you were stressed.

Maybe reactive.

Maybe not your favorite version of you.

Maybe you handled something badly, shut down, overthought it, snapped at someone, made a weird choice, doubted yourself, spiraled, whatever.

But if you drag all of that into today as though it defines you, then you’re not actually living from today. You’re reacting to yourself from three days ago. You’re making the past more relevant than what’s actually available now.

And what if it isn’t?

What if yesterday is just yesterday?

What if you don’t need to spend today overcoming it, fixing it, or proving you’re different from it?

What if you could simply wake up and choose again?

That, to me, is one of the biggest gifts of awareness. Not that it helps you become perfect, but that it shows you how available you are to yourself right now.

You are not missing.

You are not out there somewhere waiting to be discovered.

You are here, ready to be acknowledged, received, and chosen by you.

And honestly? That’s a much more powerful place to begin.

🌟 Your Add Wonder Tools

Here are a few things to play with this week:

• Where have I been acting as though I’m lost, instead of noticing that I’m already here?
• What if I stopped trying to find myself and started choosing myself?
• What am I making yesterday mean about me that doesn’t actually need to come into today?
• If I didn’t need to be fixed, improved, or rediscovered before I could choose me, what would I choose now?

And maybe the biggest one:

What if I’ve been here the whole time?

Until next time, may you stop searching long enough to notice what’s already in your hands.

With wonder,